Unpublished chapters from “Masculine & Feminine Polarity Work” by @elliottsaxby
We all have the archetype or victim within us, even if it rarely comes out. So the correct question to ask is “how do I make the victim, (or at least this victim type of energy) inside of me healthy”. On the internal level it’s quite easy to see what most of us do, we suffer “now” for pleasure “later”, going to a job we hate in order to provide for our family and the people we love. We don’t often see these kind of sacrifices, the ones we make for love, as “being a victim” but to better understand this energy and what’s really going on inside of us on a deeper level, it is helpful!
For most of us, when a desire arises related to being a victim (often with a sexual connotation) we suppress it, we judge it as bad, and in that moment it, if such a thing as bad would exist, it probably would be!
But on the heart level, being a victim does not really exist, the heart just wants to give to life, to create love. It does not recognise or experience separation in the same way as the mind. The heart wants to trust implicitly, to trust in life, and in that the more it gives to life, the more love there is in the world for it to experience. Put simply, the heart believes: that to receive love you give love, and everything is love.
Energy flowing from one heart/chakra/energy centre to another on an energetic level is the Feminine giving to the Masculine, the Masculine then gives back to the Feminine in a different way (but this is much more about energy and polarity work than healing an unhealthy victim mentality). Current reality means that it is not safe for the heart to give like this, life would just become unbalanced, so the mind stops us from giving, stops us from being a victim. And this immediately creates miss-alignment with the heart and mind wanting different things, so the mind closes the heart as not to be a victim, and we stay safe.
If we’re all able to trust and give love freely, without fear of getting hurt or wondering how and where love will come back, then the world would be a very different place, but currently the balance between polarity and duality in our world is very different, and right now that’s how it is meant to be, otherwise it would be different!
When the heart gives to life fully it orgasms, the whole body orgasms. On the genital level, for both men and women, an orgasm brings our energy to earth, sexual fluids in #sexmagic are key to manifestation. So what the heart desires is manifested and created in reality (this works so much better when there is a connection with another but it’s not essential) so to cum from the heart for another is cum or come to earth for their desires.
But often, the mind stops us giving to life in this way, orgasming from the heart, or when we do our fantasies and sexual desires are dark and connected to being a victim or abusing another and making them the victim.
If our lower three chakras/energy centres are unhealthy then so are our desires. The alignment between sex, heart and mind is not there because we don’t understand ourselves.
In shadow work most of our sexual fantasies have a higher meaning for us, and they work in reverse, or in riddles, similar to how we dream. Example:
- To be raped could be the desire to take our power back, but it could also be to surrender.
- Foot and bum fetishises are often about loving the lower, or shitty, parts of another person and themselves, to say every part of you is worthy and beautiful.
- The desire to be killed in sex is often longing for the death of our ego, not our actual body.
As we heal the traumas in our lower energy centres, we start to understand ourselves more and our fantasies become aligned to what we really want, this does not mean that we can not play with our shadow if we enjoy it, sexual stimulation is healthy and our dark side is here to help us evolve (but not consume us). Once we have done this work, truly done it. We are left with similar problems but we can see them in a different light. We are still human, and as we invest our time into a relationship our mind will want balance and safety.
There are no right answers but an evolved understanding of ourselves helps us to make better choices.
Once we know that our heart opens through giving, and we are integrated enough to live both our Masculine and Feminine polarities simultaneously, then heartbreak can become heart-opening, and the act of giving in this way, of orgasming from the heart and cumming to earth can offer us so much, especially when we are not dependent on another but free.
Exploring topics of #surrender, #control, #domination, #submission, and #victimhood from this place can help us heal our shadow, and teach us to only surrender in moments when we know we are truly loved and cared for. Coming to earth 🌍 should be a blissful experience.
Image credit “Unknown”